Be My Valen-Turtle
by newbienovelistRD
Summary: For Valentine's Day, Leo and Donnie take their girlfriends out on their own respective dates. But having a teenage mutant ninja turtle for a boyfriend is always a relationship full of surprises.


May checked herself in her full length mirror. Her short, blonde hair was perfect. She adusted her pink barette, smoothed out her white crop top and matching skirt. Then she topped it off by tying her pink sneakers extra tight. Once she threw on her pink backpack, she was ready to go.

With a determined look in the mirror, May got out her phone and dialed her best friend April O'Neil. "Hey, April. How's it coming along?"

"Great! I'm getting Raph, Mikey, and Splinter out of the lair right now! Dana's in position now!"

"Awesome! Thanks, girl!" May hung up. "Okay, May. You can do this! It's now or never!" She took out her favorite perfume and sprayed on a decent amount.

* * *

Down in the turtles' lair, April made sure Raph, Mikey, and Splinter were present and accounted for. "Okay, guys. Ready to chow down at the new pizza place?"

"Does Mikey still sleep with a night light on? Of course we are!" said Raph.

"Hey! That's our little secret!" Mikey chided.

"Not anymore!" Splinter laughed. "Let's go already! I can practically taste that French fry pizza now!"

"Yeah! I mean, putting fries on a pizza?! Genius!" Mikey said. He was already drooling. "Whoever thought of that has got a bigger brain than Donnie!"

"I know right?! Too bad Donnie and Leo are sick." Raph said. "They would have loved to come!"

"Less talking, more walking, Red one! Let's get going!" snapped Splinter. "My hunger won't satisfy itself!"

Knowing it's not smart to keep a giant rat hungry, the gang headed out to taste the famous French fry pizza.

Lurking in the shadows, Leo saw his family was gone at last. He took out his walkie talkie. "Okay, Donnie. They're gone."

"That's a copy." Donnie replied on the other end. Inside his lab, Donnie pressed a button to open a secret passage in the wall. When the door opened, May and Dana were standing there.

Leo entered the lab. "Hello, ladies!"

"Happy Valentine's Day, guys!" May said, hugging Donnie.

"So, who's got two thumbs and ready for date night?" Leo pointed both thumbs at himself. "This guy!" He turned to his brother. "So, Donnie, is my ride ready?"

Donnie smirked a knowing grin. "Like you have to ask." He pushed a button on his wristband and a blue hoverboard flew into view.

"Oh-ho, yeah!" Leo hopped on the board and flew around the lab. "Donatello, you are the TURTLE!"

"Leo! This is awesome!" Dana flapped her bat wings and flew around with Leo. "Now we can fly together!"

"And I know the perfect place to fly to! Follow me, babe!" Leo took the lead as he and Dana left the lair.

"I thought they'd never leave!" said Donnie. "Now we have the whole lair to ourselves!"

"So, Donnie. What exactly are we suppose to do?" asked May. "I've never been on a date before."

"Well, normally I would recite a sequence of words that logically explains the scientific priciples of dating." said the turtle. "But I decided to skip it." He smiled and offered his hand. "Let's just be ourselves and enjoy the evening."

With excitement and hope in her heart, May took Donnie's hand, ready for her first date. "But first, I must select a jazzy outfit for tonight." Donnie removed his battle shell and put it on the wall with the rest of his battle shell fleet. He began searching through his closet for the perfect outfit. "Sorry if I didn't change earlier. I was busy keeping the guys from sniffing out our plan-"

When Donnie turned to May, she had the most unusual look on her face. Donnie felt uncomfortable by her slack-jawed expression. "What?"

May blinked. "Oh! Nothing! I was, well...looking at your shell. I've never seen it before. You always wear your battle shell over it."

Donnie looked over at his shell. "Oh...yeah. Well, I am a soft-shell turtle after all. So I need a battle shell for protection."

"Protection? But isn't a shell suppose to be your protection?"

"No," Donnie shook his head. "My shell isn't really a shell but more like a piece of leathery skin. Hence my battle shells are not just for offense but an excellent defense."

May peered closer at Donnie's soft shell. It fascinated her in a way.

Donnie saw May staring at his shell. "You want to touch it?"

"Sure!" May said immediately. She delicately ran her fingers down Donnie's shell. "Wow...it does feel like leathery skin. It really has a unique texture..."

As she touched, she noticed Donnie was shivering. On a hunch, May gave Donnie's shell a tickle before the turtle jumped three feet away in a fit of laughter. Donnie snapped his head in May's direction. "Don't do that! My shell is REALLY ticklish!"

"Oh, it is?" May playfully wiggled her fingers at Donnie.

Donnie gulped before dashing off. But May was a lot faster than he thought. She tackled Donnie and pinned him down before tickling his soft shell. "Tickle, tickle, tickle!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STAHAHAHAHAHAP!" Donnie pleaded as he laughed.

"What? This is just desserts for tickling me to stop Mrs. Cuddles!" May replied.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OKAY! YOU WANNA TICKLE FIGHT?!" Donnie pressed a button on his armband. The robotic arms from Donnie's battle shell came out and grabbed May's arms and legs.

May became very fearful as she was binded by the turtle's invention. Donnie stood up and gave a courtesy clap. "I applaud your bravery, my fair May. But you should never start a tickle fight with me. My brothers had to learn the hard way that when it comes to tickling, I get the last laugh." He pressed another button on his armband.

A strange machine rolled toward Sasha. It was a polished purple robot with four arms that had a fluffy attachment at the end of each arm, almost like a feather duster.

May gulped. "W-What's that thing?!"

"Oh, this? Well, it used to be a simple robot I invented to dust the lair. But I was forced to put it to sleep due to technical difficulties." Donnie shrugged. "So, I decided to repurpose it into a tickle torture machine!"

"Tickle torture machine?!"

"For interrogation methods in case one of my brothers sabotage one of my precious inventions just for kicks." Donnie rubbed his hands together. "Now, for some payback..."

The robot began brushing the feathery duster along May's bare belly, her giggles bubbled out of her. "Heeheeheeheehee! Donnie, stop!"

"Not a good idea to be in a tickle fight with your belly sticking out, huh?" Donnie said teasingly.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Let go of me, you mad scientist!" May said through her giggling.

Donnie couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, okay." He shut off his robot and helped May stand. "So, you think I'm a mad scientist, huh?"

"I'm sorry, Don. It just slipped out."

"Oh, don't be." said Donnie, shaking his head. "In fact, I'll take that as a compliment."

May chuckled, shaking her head. "So, what else are we doing for date night? Hopefully, no more tickling robots?"

"How about a delectable pizza dinner with a well balanced recipe by moi." Donnie flashed a wicked grin. "Guaranteed to bring your taste buds to life! Muahahahaha!"

May just laughed at Donnie's mad scientist routine. "Donnie, you're too much!"

"I know." Donnie put an arm around May. "I'm just glad you do..." He smiled and raised aj eyebrow, making May blush.

* * *

Outside New York City, Leo and Dana sat on a hill enjoying their moonlight picnic. The hill looked over a beautiful field of roses. The moonlight shining down gave the flowers a gorgeous glow.

Leo raised his glass of cherry cola. "Happy Valentine's Day, milady."

"To you as well, my man." Dana said as she and Leo toasted their glasses. "I don't know what my life would be like if I never met you guys."

"Same here. You're the best fellow mutant we've ever met!" said Leo. "Every other mutant out there wants to kill us! Like Hypno-Potamus, Meat Sweats, Baron Draxum-"

"Baron who?" Dana said before letting out a good burp. "I know about Hypno and Mikey told me about Meat Sweats. But who's this Draxum guy?"

"Oh, yeah...I guess we didn't tell you." Leo sighed. "Well, you know that oozesquito that bit you? Draxum created them so he can turn all humans into mutants!"

"What?! But why would he do that?!" Dana asked.

"I dunno, probably to feed his ego as a raging warrior scientist. Smart people are like that." Leo droned. "Sad part is, Donnie's got an ego problem too."

"That is sad..." Dana said.

Just as Leo was about to gossip more about his brothers, a glowing green insect whizzed by his head.

"An oozesquito!" Leo dropped his glass and grabbed Dana. "Come on, Dana! We gotta catch it!" He took off after the bug with Dana in tow. They scrambled into the rose garden when Dana pulled her hand away from Leo.

"Leo! What is your deal?! We're in the middle of a date!" Dana snapped.

"Dana! We can't let that oozesquito escape! It could turn an innocent person into a mutant and it'll feel worse on us because we weren't there to stop that from happening!"

"Then what are we waiting for?!" Dana replied. "Let's go!"

The couple followed the Oozesqito into the dark woods. It took some doing, but Dana and Leo finally found the insect in a spider web. Dana took out an empty peanut butter jar, grabbed the bug, and put it inside the jar. "Good thing we ran out of peanut butter!" said Dana as she closed the lid.

"Wait a minute..." Using his flashlight, he took a careful look at the web. "This stuff looks familiar." He looked up. "HEADS UP!" Leo shoved Dana aside just as he was hit by a giant glob of purple webbing.

"LEO!" Dana screamed. A pompous laugh rung from above the trees. Dana gasped in horror when a large spider creature jumped down from the trees and landed before Dana.

"Yikes!" Dana flew back in fright. "It's a walking nightmare!"

"Worse! That's Big Mama!" said Leo.

"Well, am I just tummy tickled knowing you still remember me." Big Mama cooed. "I'll just take that little bitty bug off your hands, my dear..."

"No way!" Dana kicked the spider lady right in the face. "We've got enough bug problems going on this Valentine's Day. So thanks for making it worse, sister!"

Big Mama rubbed her sore jaw. "My, my! You're quite the little spitfire, aren't you?" she mused. "Perhaps you could join me in my line of work collecting the Oozesquitos?"

"Don't listen to her, Dana!" Leo shouted. "She-" Leo's mouth was quickly covered by Big Mama's webs.

"Ah, ah, ah! It's rude to interrupt!" Big Mama waved her finger at Leo. "Now then, Dana, was it? Will you help this poor innocent woman in catching these insects? Together, we will create such splendid warriors for my beloved Battle Nexus!"

"Battle Nexus?" said Dana.

"Oh, yes! It's a splendid heart-stopping, thrill-seeking, toe curling tournament of mine where youkai fight to the death!" Big Mama laughed. "I see potential in you...just like your grandparents."

"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WAIT! STOP!" Dana exclaimed. "What do you mean...my grandparents?!"

Big Mama chuckled in her throat. "Let's just say I took good care of them when they were in my line of work..."

"COWABUNGAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Big Mama was slammed by Donnie's giant rocket powered mallet. He and May arrived on Donnie's hover cycle.

"Well, look who decided to he a third wheel." Donnie said.

Big Mama got up and snarled at the techno-genius turtle.

Donnie braced himself. "Okay, May. Just stay back-" But when Donnie turned to May, he was shocked.

May stared at Big Mama, completely petrified. She trembled as her pupils shrunk to tiny dots. Horrified whimpers came through her clenched teeth.

Donnie could tell May was deathly afraid of Big Mama's presence. "Uh...May?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! SPIDER!" May screamed. She took out two cans or bug spray from her backpack and shot Big Mama with the pesticide.

Big Mama choked on the fumes. "Can't...breathe!" She held her breath and ran away as fast as possible from the area.

After blindly spraying her insect repellent, May ran to Donnie and hugged him for much needed comfort. "Donnie! Is the spider gone?!" she said between pants. She was really scared.

"It's okay, babe. The spider's gone." Donnie said soothingly as he rubbed May's back. "You scared her away!"

"I did?!" May looked back and saw the spider gone. "I did! What a relief! I'm so happy I could just-!" She looked at Donnie and gave him a big smooch on the lips.

"Whoa! A kiss on the first date?!" Leo said, stunned. He looked over at Dana. She appeared deep in thought. "Dana? You okay?"

"Huh? Y-Yeah, I'm okay." Dana used her claws to free Leo.

"So, what were you guys doing out here?" Leo asked Donnie after May showered his face with kisses.

Donnie was too lovesick to respond, so May answered for him. "Well, after we had our pizza dinner, we came out here to spy on you guys. But when we saw you chase that icky glowing bug and get attacked by that hideous spider monster, we had to do something!"

"Oh, yeah! The Oozesquito!" Leo saw Dana still holding the peanut butter with the bug inside. "Dana?"

"Huh?" Dana turned to Leo. "Oh, yeah! Here's the bug." She handed Leo the jar, which Donnie swiped from Leo.

"Alright, gang. We've got one Oozesquito. And..." Donnie blinked. "lots more to go."

Leo patted Donnie's back. "Don't sweat it, Donnie. We'll get them all. But for now, let's enjoy Valentine's Day with our true loves." He held Dana's hand. "Right, babe?"

Dana smiled and gave Leo a kiss on the cheek. "You got it, Baby Blue."

Donnie put an arm around May. "After that little adventure, perhaps my robot can dust you off when we get back home?" He wiggled his eyebrows in a playful manner.

May giggled. "No way, you mad scientist!"

As Dana walked with her freinds, she thought back to what Big Mama said. Did she really know her grandparents?

And did she really...take care of them?

So many questions plagued Dana's mind. But she decided to let it go...for now.


End file.
